3rd Max Crittenden's Birthday
5th Cheryl William's Birthday
10th Ron Cheeseman's Birthday
16th David Kirchner's Anniversary
18th Robin Logan's Anniversary
24th Denise Mitchell's Birthday
30th Max Crittenden's Anniversary
31st Robyn Goodwin's Anniversary

Rotary 4-Way Test

1. Is it the TRUTH?
2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?
3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?
4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

Recent Photographs

President's Message

From Ted Elliott

March- A Time For Consolidation

The Rotary Foundation - How are we traveling?

Bowel Scan 2003

2003 Conference
SPONSORSHIP

Make Literacy Next World Goal

Signs that you live in 2003

Target practice

Just add water

Cairns Mulgrave Rotary Club

Boxed Gift Pens Available Now

$15.00 each.
Please see Secretary Mike if you would like one

PRESIDENTS MESSAGE

No message this week.

From Ted Elliott

IN A TRIAL A SMALL TOWN PROSECUTING ATTORNEY CALLED HIS FIRST WITNESS TO THE STAND: A GRANDMOTHER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. HE APPROACHED HER AND ASKED, "MRS JONES, DO YOU KNOW ME?"

SHE RESPONDED, "WHY, YES I DO KNOW YOU, MR WILLIAMS. I'VE KNOWN YOU SINCE YOU WERE A YOUNG BOY, AND FRANKLY, YOU'VE BEEN A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME. YOU LIE, YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, YOU MANIPULATE PEOPLE AND TALK ABOUT THEM BEHIND THEIR BACKS. YOU THINK YOU'RE A BIG SHOT WHEN YOU HAVEN'T THE BRAINS TO REALIZE YOU NEVER WILL AMOUNT TO ANYTHING MORE THAN A TWO-BIT PAPER PUSHER. YES, I KNOW YOU".

THE LAWYER WAS STUNNED. NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE POINTED ACROSS THE ROOM AND ASKED, "MRS JONES, DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY?"

SHE AGAIN REPLIED, "WHY YES, I DO. I'VE KNOWN MR BRADLEY SINCE HE WAS A YOUNGSTER, TOO. HE'S LAZY, BIGOTED, HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. HE CAN'T BUILD A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE AND HIS LAW PRACTICE IS ONE OF THE WORST IN THE ENTIRE STATE. NOT TO MENTION HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WITH THREE DIFFERENT WOMEN. YES, I KNOW HIM".

THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY ALMOST DIED!

AT THIS POINT, THE JUDGE BROUGHT THE COURTROOM TO SILENCE, CALLED BOTH COUNSELORS TO THE BENCH, AND IN A VERY QUIET VOICE SAID, "IF EITHER OF YOU BASTARDS ASKS HER IF SHE KNOWS ME, YOU'LL BE JAILED FOR CONTEMPT".

MARCH - a TIME for CONSOLIDATION

As March has no specific Rotary theme, it is perhaps timely for each club to consider its progress towards its goals and objectives for the current Rotary year.

Rotary International President Bhichai Rattakul emphasised at the beginning of the year his support for a "bottom up" approach. Each club was asked to set its own goals for the year, while bearing in mind President Bhichai's general focus for the year ahead in all avenues of service.

Now, as we approach the three-quarter mark for our Rotary year, it is appropriate to review our progress towards those goals and objectives. How are we progressing? Has our planning been effective? Have we achieved our targets? Do we need to implement a few catch-up strategies in order to meet our goals?

Those Club Presidents who feel that their clubs have got it right should now be reviewing their club's performance in comparison to the original club plans to assess the club's entitlement to a Presidential Citation.

Applications for a Presidential Citation close with Rotary International on 15 April 2003, but are required to be reviewed and signed by the DG before submission to RI. Allowing for review and signing of those applications, the closing date for submission of your Application for a Presidential Citation to me is 5 April 2003. Application forms can be downloaded from the RI Web Page, or directly from: http://www.rotary.org/newsandinfo/downloadcenter/pdfs/900b_en02.pdf.

Remember that a Club Presidential Citation reflects with great credit on the performance and commitment of every club member, and should therefore be regarded as a significant achievement by every Rotarian involved.

However, where a club feels that it has not yet met the goals that it set itself at the beginning of the year, this should not be a cause for despair or for abandoning of those goals. Rather, it should be a reminder to the Club to redouble its efforts and to make full use of the remaining three months of the year in an effort to make those goals a reality.

While this may not result in a Presidential Citation, the achievement and pride that each Club member will feel will be its own reward. Of particular significance in reviewing whether we have achieved our goals and objectives should be how we have progressed in terms of our contributions to The Rotary Foundation and to the Polio Eradication campaign.

I know that most clubs enthusiastically support our district goals for Rotary's own humanitarian charities, and have made significant commitments in this regard, however many of these commitments are yet to translate into reality.

While many clubs traditionally make such contributions towards the end of the Rotary year, earlier payment or advice of the amount of such contributions to District Foundation and Polio Eradication Chairman Phil Dempster would greatly assist the District's campaign planning.

Jeff Crofts Governor, Rotary International District 9550, 2002-2003

"...To Sow the Seeds of Love is to find opportunities to serve every day, every moment of our lives. To Sow the Seeds of Love is to think of others first, and ourselves in terms of what we can do for others..."

The Rotary Foundation - How are we traveling?

Contribution totals for District 9550 (as of 28-Feb-03 )

Rotarians in District: ~1,400 2002-2003 District Goal: US $65,000.00
Annual Giving (year to date): US $16,371.83 Annual Giving per capita: US $11.60 2002-2003 District Goal US $100,000.00
Polio Eradication Fundraising Campaign (year to date): US ~$18,000.00

We have a long way to go Let's keep focusing on our commitments!!

Bowel Scan 2003

Bowel Scan 2003 will be conducted in District 9550 between 17 March to 29 March 2003.

Kits will cost $6.00 and will be available from most pharmacies.

Some statistics:

In Australia, there is one road death every 5 hours, 1 person dies of breast cancer every 4 hours, but 1 person dies of colon cancer every 2 hours!

A thousand Queenslanders will develop Colon Cancer in the next 12 months of which 50% will die.

One in 18 men and one in 26 women will develop colon cancer before the age of 75 and the older you are the greater the chance of developing Colon Cancer

Make Literacy Next World Goal

Literacy is certainly one of the greatest gifts and illiterate person can receive. It can change the lifestyle of an individual, family or society from one of servitude and depression to a life of dignity, pride and self-sufficiency.

Unfortunately, being illiterate is a condition which exists in affluent countries such as Australia. Rotarians can make a significant contribution to the eradication of illiteracy.

The template for this great work already exists, being established by District 9630 Past Governor Dick Walker, of the Rotary Club of Salisbury, Qld. His contribution is immeasurable.

However, for the most part many people don't know Dick Walker, being unaware of his work to refine and establish the Concentrated Language Encounter Method (CLEM). Further, the partnership and wonderful track record of CLEM and Rotary in the eradication of illiteracy worldwide is not as well known as it should be.

This is partly due to the justifiable prominence currently given to our quest to eradicate polio in the world by 2005. We will surely succeed in that endeavor.

With that victory in sight, Rotary needs another common thread to bind us together, 'to do good in the world". What better worldwide program than the eradication of adult illiteracy.

We have the people, we have the will, we have the template in CLEM, we have Dick Walker Mankind's need for dignity, self-sufficiency and freedom through literacy is surely as important as mankind's physical health. It will also be good for our collective souls.

Ross Forgione Rotary Club of Archerfield, Qld. District 9640 Governor.

Signs that you live in 2003

ü You just tried to enter your PIN on the microwave.
ü You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
ü You call your son's beeper to let him know that it's time to eat. He emails you back from his bedroom: "What's for dinner?"
ü You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next-door neighbour this year.
ü Your grandmother asks you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
ü You pull up in your driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
ü Every commercial on television displays a website address.
ü Returning home just to pick up your mobile phone.
ü Using real money instead of a credit card to make a purchase would be a hassle, and take planning.
ü Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of the car.
ü Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses. ü Your idea of being organised is different coloured Post-It Notes.
ü You near most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
ü You disconnect from the Internet and get this awful feeling, as if you have just pulled the plug on a loved one.
ü You get up in the morning and go on-line before getting your breakfast.
ü You wake up at 2 a.m. to go to the bathroom and check your email on your way to bed.

Target practice

A GOOD story deserves a good airing. What follows was spotted in Bike magazine, which had spotted it in Pilot magazine.

Two members of the Lothian and Borders traffic police were recently having a pleasant time out on the Scottish moors, trapping speeding motorists with a radar gun. Suddenly their equipment went crazy, registering a speed of over 300 miles per hour. It then locked up completely.

Seconds later the startled boys in blue understood why, as a low-flying Harrier jet screamed over their heads. Upset that their radar gun had been broken, the policemen put in a complaint to the Royal Air Force-only to discover that the damage could easily have been much worse.

The RAF informed them that the Harrier's target-seeker had locked on to what it had interpreted as enemy radar. This immediately triggered an automatic air-to-surface missile attack. Fortunately for the two policemen, the Harrier was operating unarmed.

New Scientist (17 February 1996)

Just add water

We came across a snippet that should break the ice at even the most dismal gathering.

For we learn that in Austin, Texas, Jeff Nightbyrd a 36-year-old entrepreneur, is marketing instant urine for the growing number of employees who are being asked by their bosses to undergo tests to see if they're using drugs.

Like instant coffee, the urine comes in powder form, and it is reconstituted by adding hot distilled water. It can be ordered by mail at a cost of £19.95 for two 2-gram vials, providing enough urine for two samples.

Nightbyrd won't say how he turns urine into powder, but according to an analytical chemist at the University of Texas, it must be a very smelly business.

New Scientist (25 December 1986/1 January 1987)

2003 Conference SPONSORSHIP

Rotary District 9550 offers sponsorship opportunities on a number of different levels to businesses who see the benefit of profiling themselves to Rotary members during the 2003 Conference which be held at the Cairns Convention Centre.

This high-profile venue will allow an excellent opportunity for exposure of goods and/or services to a wide range of Rotarians.

The Conference Delegates will be traveling to Cairns from Darwin to the Whitsundays and represent one of the broadest cross-sections of business leaders in the Northern Australian region.

The Conference will be supported by a Platinum Sponsor and the two major days of conference, Saturday 3 May and Sunday 4 May 2003, will each be supported by a Gold Sponsor.

An opportunity exists for four Silver Sponsors who will sponsor the two keynote speakers on the Saturday and Sunday and for the Civic Reception on the Friday evening and the District Governor's Dinner on the Saturday evening.

Ten Bronze sponsorships are also available and will be recognised at the various breaks in the conference.

The PLATINUM SPONSOR will be featured: · in all Conference media releases; · on all Conference documentation including registration forms; · on Conference Programmes the Conference website; and · will have major signage at the Conference.

In addition to naming rights for the District 9550 Conference 2003 the Platinum Sponsor is:
· included in any direct advertising material related to the Confernce; and
· is entitled to insert advertising material (provided by the Platinum Sponsor) into the Conference Kit received by all Delegates.

Additionally, a key-located booth will be available for the sponsor to present its goods and/or services to the Delegates.

The Platinum Sponsor, through its naming rights, will be recognised throughout the Conference by MCs and speakers alike.

The cost of Platinum Sponsorship will be $7,500.00.

The GOLD SPONSOR(S) will support a major day of the Conference (Saturday 3 May or Sunday 4 May 2003).

Gold Sponsor(s) will be granted:
· programme nomination for the chosen day; and
· lecturn signage on the chosen day. In addition, the Gold Sponsor(s) will feature on all Conference documentation including:
· registration forms;
· Conference Programmes, and · the Conference website.

Additionally:

· a booth will be available for the Gold Sponsor(s) to present goods and/or services to the Delegates;
· the Gold Sponsor(s) will be acknowledged by the various Conference Sargeants throughout the chosen day; and
· advertising material provided by the Gold Sponsor(s) may be inserted into the Conference kit received by all Delegates. The cost of Gold Sponsorship is $5,000.00 each.

The SILVER SPONSOR(S) will receive recognition for one of four specific sessions:

v Friday evening's Civic Recption Hosted by Mayor Kevin Byrne[tbc]
v Saturday's keynote speaker: Duane Gubler of the Centre for Disease Control, Fort Collins, USA, an eminent Rotarian and specialist in vector-borne disease discussing 'What is Rotary's role in disease control after Polio Plus?'
v Saturday evenings District Governor's Gala Dinner
v Sunday's keynote speaker:

Ritje Rihatinah, Rotary's Disaster Relief Representative in Indonesia, presenting personal experience from Bali and general opinions of socioeconomic change in our geographic region.

In each instance, signage and promotional material can be displayed and acknowledgement of the Silver Sponsor(s) by the various speaker(s) will be made.

A booth will be available for the Silver Sponsor(s) to present goods and/or services to the Delegates at the main Conference venue.

Advertising material provided by the Silver Sponsor(s) may also be inserted into the Conference kit received by all Delegates. The cost of Silver Sponsorship is $2,500.00 each.

The BRONZE SPONSOR(S) will be given the opportunity to support one of each of the breaks at the Conference. Bronze Sponsor(s) will be given the opportunity to:

· display goods and/or services;
· will be mentioned in all Conference material; and · will be acknowledged prior to each break and again at the commencement of the next session.

Advertising material provided by the Bronze Sponsor(s) may also be inserted into the Conference kit received by all Delegates. The cost of Bronze Sponsorship is $1,000.00 each.

NB: Platinum, Gold & Silver sponsors will be awarded a plaque during the Conference.

LEVEL NUMBER PER UNIT $ $

Platinum 1 $7,500.00 $7,500.00
Gold 2 $5,000.00 $10,000.00
Silver 4 $2,500.00 $10,000.00
Bronze 10 $1,000.00 $10,000.00 $37,500.00