Club Bulletin No24, Vol 22, February 14 2003 The Cam |
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| Features | If you are not getting The Bulletin let the committee know! | News |
President's Message | Missed Meetings | ||||||||||
| Guest Speakers And Coming Events | |||||||||||||||
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| Duty Officers
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| March | Chris Lord, Denise Mitchell. | ||||||||||||||
| Sergeant's Roster | March | ||||||||||||||
| Reminders | March |
3rd Max Crittenden's Birthday |
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Rotary 4-Way Test 1. Is it
the TRUTH? |
| Features | Use the index on the left to scroll through this week's features. |
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Alf's Stand Against The Rural Drift Kiama plans fellowship scenic tour of Ireland Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay:
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Boxed Gift Pens Available Now $15.00 each. No message this week. Hi folks On Saturday, 8 March at 7pm, Paradise Palms Karin Schaupp, one of the most outstanding young guitarists on the international scene is performing. See the current edition of Cairns City Life for further details or call the number below. At $30 per person, it would cost a lot more to hear her play in a major city. Bookings should be made by phoning 4093 9018 - Credit cards not accepted. Proceeds go to the Cairns Earlville Rotary Club. Hoping to see you there. Collin Messervy
Rotary District 9550 offers sponsorship opportunities on a number of different levels to businesses who see the benefit of profiling themselves to Rotary members during the 2003 Conference which be held at the Cairns Convention Centre. This high-profile venue will allow an excellent opportunity for exposure of goods and/or services to a wide range of Rotarians. The Conference Delegates will be traveling to Cairns from Darwin to the Whitsundays and represent one of the broadest cross-sections of business leaders in the Northern Australian region. The Conference will be supported by a Platinum Sponsor and the two major days of conference, Saturday 3 May and Sunday 4 May 2003, will each be supported by a Gold Sponsor. An opportunity exists for four Silver Sponsors who will sponsor the two keynote speakers on the Saturday and Sunday and for the Civic Reception on the Friday evening and the District Governor's Dinner on the Saturday evening. Ten Bronze sponsorships are also available and will be recognised at the various breaks in the conference. The PLATINUM SPONSOR will be featured: · in all Conference media releases; · on all Conference documentation including registration forms; · on Conference Programmes the Conference website; and · will have major signage at the Conference. In addition to naming rights for the
District 9550 Conference 2003 the Platinum Sponsor is: Additionally, a key-located booth will be available for the sponsor to present its goods and/or services to the Delegates. The Platinum Sponsor, through its naming rights, will be recognised throughout the Conference by MCs and speakers alike. The cost of Platinum Sponsorship will be $7,500.00. The GOLD SPONSOR(S) will support a major day of the Conference (Saturday 3 May or Sunday 4 May 2003). Gold Sponsor(s) will be granted: Additionally: · a booth will be available for the
Gold Sponsor(s) to present goods and/or services to the Delegates; The SILVER SPONSOR(S) will receive recognition for one of four specific sessions: v Friday evening's Civic Recption Hosted
by Mayor Kevin Byrne[tbc] Ritje Rihatinah, Rotary's Disaster Relief Representative in Indonesia, presenting personal experience from Bali and general opinions of socioeconomic change in our geographic region. In each instance, signage and promotional material can be displayed and acknowledgement of the Silver Sponsor(s) by the various speaker(s) will be made. A booth will be available for the Silver Sponsor(s) to present goods and/or services to the Delegates at the main Conference venue. Advertising material provided by the Silver Sponsor(s) may also be inserted into the Conference kit received by all Delegates. The cost of Silver Sponsorship is $2,500.00 each. The BRONZE SPONSOR(S) will be given the opportunity to support one of each of the breaks at the Conference. Bronze Sponsor(s) will be given the opportunity to: · display goods and/or services; Advertising material provided by the Bronze Sponsor(s) may also be inserted into the Conference kit received by all Delegates. The cost of Bronze Sponsorship is $1,000.00 each. NB: Platinum, Gold & Silver sponsors will be awarded a plaque during the Conference. LEVEL NUMBER PER UNIT $ $ Platinum 1 $7,500.00 $7,500.00 Hi folks On Saturday, 8 March at 7pm, Paradise Palms Karin Schaupp, one of the most outstanding young guitarists on the international scene is performing. See the current edition of Cairns City Life for further details or call the number below. At $30 per person, it would cost a lot more to hear her play in a major city. Bookings should be made by phoning 4093 9018 - Credit cards not accepted. Proceeds go to the Cairns Earlville Rotary Club. Hoping to see you there. Collin Messervy
Alf's Stand Against The Rural Drift Alf's Smash Repairs, owned and operated by Al Gullotta from the Rotary Club of Fitzgerald Innisfail, Qld., won the 2002 Prime Minister's Small Business of the Year Award at the Australian Training Awards. Prime Minister John Howard, in a letter, said: "This award recognises a small business that demonstrates outstanding commitment and achievement in the provision of training to its employees. In this respect, Alf's Smash Repairs is second to none. Mr Gullotta's commitment to training, and to the young people of Innisfail, is exceptional. The leadership and dedication to quality through staff training that Mr Gullotta has displayed has set a benchmark for others and demonstrates the strong link that exists between success and commitment to education and training. " Alf Gullotta has been a member of the Rotary Club of Fitzgerald Innisfail since 1995 and conducted a very successful Pride of workmanship Awards night during his year as vocational service director in 1996-97. He has nominated several of his employees for Pride Of Workmanship Awards and is a strong believer in recognizing staff who "go the extra mile". Alf Gullotta has thoroughly embraced his duty as a Rotarian to represent his vocation. His company has trained 12 apprentices since starting in business 16 years ago, including school based apprentices, trainees and people with disabilities. Alf Gullotta expressed pride in his local community and determination to stem the urban drift among young people so prevalent in many regional centers. Kiama plans fellowship scenic tour of Ireland The International Committee of the Rotary Club of Kiama, N.S.W., has launched a unique exercise in international Rotary fellowship by promoting a Rotary tour of Ireland. The tour departs Sydney on August 25, 2003, and will cover 19 days in Ireland, giving Rotarians the opportunity to visit seven clubs by attending meetings or joining them informally. The club believes this is the first time an Australian Rotary tour group has visited Ireland with an agenda that allows for such fellowship with Irish clubs. Ireland (including Northern Ireland) is District 1160 and has 73 clubs. The logistics in creating a tour that would give the best as an in-depth tour and still be able to give the opportunity to meet with Rotarians was difficult to say the least, especially given the fact that 38 per cent of all clubs in Ireland meet at midday Mondays. Negotiations are under way to meet with Dun Laoghlaire, Cork, Killarney, Galway, Londonderry, Belfast West and Dublin clubs. Kiama Rotary and Guidepost Travel of Gerringong have organised the tour, planned by Past President Ray Thorburn, to be a "non-tourist" one involving areas of Ireland and experiences not usually covered. You don have to be a member of Rotary to enjoy the tour as it was designed to achieve a "sense of place". Flying Singapore Airlines and Aer Lingus, the tour will have a stopover in Singapore, allowing fellowship with any of five clubs whose meetings coincide with the stopover. Price of the tour is $A6,995, inclusive and covering all transfers and gratuities, all accommodation, breakfasts, many dinners and entries into all sites on the tour. Further information. Guidepost Travel at (02 4234 1175 OR pp Ray Thorburn (02) 4233 1442 (H). A little girl asked her mother "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mum replied, "No because she is in heat." What does that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father - I think he's in the garage." The little girl went to the garage and said, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked mum, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you". Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, that should take care of that problem. You can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go once around the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out to gas about halfway around the block, so another dog is pushing her home." The following are actual medical records taken from patient's charts around North America When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room. The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week. Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles. She is numb from her toes down. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized. Rectal exam revealed a normal thyroid. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy. While in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated and sent home. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. Worst analogies ever written in a high school essay: Continued · Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. · He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. · Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man." · He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why "abbreviated" is such a long word? Why doctors call what they do "practice"? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker? Why there isn't a mouse flavoured cat food? Who tastes dog food when it has a "new and improved" flavour? Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? |